Don't Wait by the Phone

I was recently sent an email about joining twitter. For obvious reasons I declined this invite, but let me take a quick moment to reflect on this. My life is boring, I don't even care what I'm doing most of the time and when I do care it's not anyone elses business as to what I'm doing. Every so often and now less than ever I get a hair up my ass and write a post for this blog. So just in case anyone was ever wondering what I get up to I thought I would post a normal day for me twitter style.

3:30am Baby cries, I'm tired

4:00am Alarm goes off, I hit snooze, still tired, everything aches

4:05am Alarm goes off again, I loathe humanity

4:10-4:30am Take shower, get coffee, I still loathe humanity and my job

4:30-5:00am Read book, right now The Serbs (h/t chekov) or Blood and Soil

5:00-5:30am Get dressed, eat breakfast, now either cereal or grits, miss days when my wife used to make steak and eggs for breakfast (yes, on weekdays!)

5:45am Leave for work, smoke cigar

6:00isham Arrive at work, finish cigar

6:00-6:30am Read book in car, right now Official Irish Republicanism, 1962-1972

6:30-6:45am Bullshit with guys from my old crew in the parking lot, complain about work

7:00am Start work, parking structure for Botanical Garden

9:30-9:45am Take break, Hungarian salami, cheese, and triscuits dipped in coffee

12:00-12:30 Take lunch

5:30pm Get off work, smoke cigar

6:15 pm Get home, kiss wife, do dishes, stare at my kid and marvel

6:30-7:00pm Eat dinner

7:30pm Put baby to bed

7:30-8:30pm Read books, blogs, socialize with wife, ie actually behave like a human being

8:30-9:30ish Go to bed, renew vow to abolish wage slavery...someday

Repeat six days a week except add a six pack of Budweiser on the sixth day and that's my life. Nothing to phone home about, let alone twit.